What Happens In The War
by Skiehr'Kaeur
Summary: A bunch of war stories and war related one-shots. Rated T just in case. Slight Death Bringer spoilers.
1. Wife and Child

**Hello! Sorry I have not been heard from in a while. I've been vigorously writing my own novel which is at approximately 50k. WOO! :) **

**Anywhom, please do enjoy this new concept and I shall update ASAP (Act Swiftly Awesome Pachyderm).**

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><p>"Skulduggery?"<p>

"Mm?" He replied, not taking his gaze from the road.

"You honestly don't have to answer this if you don't want to. I'm just… curious."

"Curious about what, Valkyrie?"

"Well, you always refer to your family as wife and child," She noted how his fingers gripped the steering wheel, but didn't mention it. "And, I was wondering why that is. I mean, how hard is it to say son or daughter if you say wife instead of partner?"

Skulduggery didn't waver in stance. He seemed barely conscious enough to drive. Valkyrie would have sworn that he was sleeping or meditating, but she betted on him fuelling with rage.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked-."

"I don't say because I don't know." Skulduggery interrupted.

Valkyrie chewed her lip and listened to her mind screaming a thousand curses at her.

"Do you remember when Auron told you about Lord Vile?"

"I do,"

"And the time we went to Prussia?"

"The time you picked up his dagger."

"Yes. I do believe that he told you when it was?"

"No,"

"It was a couple of months after I was married. We knew the war was coming so we rushed getting married. I didn't regret it. I still don't. There's no way I could. I loved her and I still do. So we were married," He said, a hint of pride engulfed by his tone of sorrow.

"And then I went off to war. I almost refused the offer to be part of the Dead Men. Not because I was afraid to die; because I was afraid to leave her alone. "She told me to go. She knew how much it meant to me, and encouraged me, telling me that we'd both be fine. I loved that about her, she always put the doubt out of my mind."

Valkyrie watched him carefully, not daring to touch him in case he spontaneously combusted into fits of tears. _He wouldn't do that. He couldn't and he most certainly wouldn't._

"I left when the war started; she had to persuade me to do that, too. And then a few months later I found that she was… well, you get the gist." Skulduggery spoke carefully, making his voice stay strong. "I was due to go home in less than a week and by that time I'd already made quite a powerful enemy."

"Serpine," Valkyrie breathed.

"Yes," Skulduggery muttered. "He took her before I got the chance to return. I was going to stay with her. At least until the baby was born. I never got the chance. I saw her one last time; but that was when I watched her die. When I watched her get tortured to a point of begging. But I don't remember her like that. She was always so strong; fearless. The first thing she did when she saw me screaming at her, begging for her, was smile. She smiled right at me. And all I did was scream at her; scream for her.

"It's horrible. My wife died with my screams fresh in her mind. I died with her smile. And he murdered a child. _My _child. Not even born yet." He said forlorn and distraught. "I'd like to say I'd done the right thing. But you know who I was. I wasn't rational." He let forth a small chuckle, but it sounded out of place. "The thought to use magic never crossed my mind."

"And he killed you, instead." Valkyrie ended sadly.

"Yes, he did. He killed us all on the same day."

"I'm so sorry," Skulduggery shook his head and Valkyrie tried a weak smile. "So, what was her name?"

"What?" Skulduggery replied, taken aback.

"Your wife, what was her name?"

Skulduggery's bony fingers gripped the steering wheel and his jaw clenched tight. He shook his skull in one fluid movement and exhaled sharply.

"Oh, Skul, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" Skulduggery's hands began to shake against the wheel. Valkyrie looked from them to him and deep into his eye sockets. "Stop the car."

He turned his skull to her and stared for a few moments. "I said stop the car, please."

Skulduggery complied and the Bentley slowed to a stop. Skulduggery sighed and leant against the steering wheel.

"Look, Valkyrie, I'm-," She lunged at him and enveloped him in a hug.

"I'm sorry," She laughed meekly into his suit, "I thought you could use a hug."

Skulduggery smiled his skeleton smile and hugged her back.

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><p><strong>Just a thought. ;)<strong>

**A cute, little, innocent though.**


	2. Shudder's Birthday

**Couldn't resist. :)**

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><p>The Dead Men were sitting in the same ditch they had been in for the last three days. It was cold, it was wet, and it was muddy. Every man was tired- beyond tired, in fact. They were hungry and freezing. Well, everybody except for Pleasant, of course.<p>

Pleasant wasn't exactly cheery, at the moment, but he was exhausted. For some reason, the fatigue hit him just as it had hit everyone else. He was so still and so quiet he may as well have been dead. Actually, he already was dead. He was most likely meditating.

Yes, even at a time like that.

His skull was between his knees and his arms were wrapped around his legs. The wind blew fierce, but his fedora stayed firm on his head. The rest of the men- Larrikin, Dexter, Hopeless, Saracen, Shudder and Ghastly- were left shivering in the mud with no hope of catching any sleep.

Suddenly, out of the wallowing sounds of rain and general miserable behaviour, Hopeless spoke up. "What's the date today?"

"1850." Groaned a tired voice.

"Not the year, you idiot, the date,"

"It's been three days," Pleasant said, waking from his mediative state.

Saracen rubbed his temples, pushing away the oncoming headache. "It's almost Go Time. A couple of hours or so after the sunrise, Lads,"

There was a general murmur from all of the men and as the sun began to rise, so did their fogged minds and sour moods.

Larrikin was the first of all to be sprightly. Shudder was the last. He was never sprightly, in fact. He was always 'sobered', as he would put it. He never, not a once, smiled on Dead Men missions. He wasn't one to inspire great happiness. Larrikin, on the other hand…

As the sun was illuminating the raining sky, Larrikin suddenly slapped his hands together and rubbed them vigorously. "Gentlemen, I do believe that we all know what day it is today. Don't we? Yes, it is Go Day, but, what else?"

Before anyone had a chance to utter a syllable, Larrikin interrupted. "It's Shudder's birthday."

The men all stared in silence at the confused fellow who was getting an enormous grin from the man beside him.

"No it's not." He said, bemused.

"It is indeed! And do you know what a party calls for, Lads?" His movement became more animated with every second.

Dexter tilted his head, "Cake? A party? Women?" A chuckle broke from every able bodied soul in the ditch. Ghastly got an elbow in the side from Pleasant and a wink from Saracen. A few weeks earlier, Ghastly had been… away… for the weekend with a girl named Françoise. As it turns out, The Dead Men had thought that he'd been captured by Serpine and was being tortured.

"Almost, Vex! But, I do quite fervently believe that we need a cake, _and_ a sing-song for him! Whose with me?"

Shudder shot a piercing glare at Larrikin that would have made an average man crumble. "I will give you twenty Euros if you shut up."

"But, it's _your_ birthday. You should be getting presents. Dead Men, bring forth Shudder's cake."

Larrikin lunged forward to hug Shudder but he was caught by his upper arms and was trying to be held away. Larrikin, being ever persistent, lunged forward to hug his friend further. His shoes were scraping in the mud, flicking it up.

He tumbled over Shudder's ankles and landing on his back in the mud. By this point The Dead Men were all trying not to crack up laughing. Shudder kept Larrikin pinned to the muddy ground. "Stop it. I can't see why you're being so reckless. It's dangerous! Do you know how close Mevolent's men are?"

"Shudder, I'm merely trying to celebrate your birthday! Do you not think it is worth enjoying?"

"Not when there are circumstances such as these."

"These are absolutely fine."

Shudder shoved Larrikin away, but he came back twice as hard. It quickly turned into an extraordinarily quiet wrestling match. The Dead Men were still trying not to laugh. Most of them didn't contain well.

Larrikin smiled widely and was almost laughing himself, Shudder on the other hand, was silently furious and was still thinking that Larrikin was an idiot. Larrikin was smiling so bright, it almost hurt his face muscles, that is, until Shudder got him into an astonishingly tight headlock. Still, he smiled bright, which only made it more difficult for the Dead Men who were still trying not to laugh.

He quickly reached inside his clothes, desperately searching for something. And then, he procured a bun. A single small bun that was crushed and practically crumbs.

Shudder's grip loosened for a second before tightening again. Larrikin held the bun tight, not wanting it to fall into the mud, and with his other hand, he pulled a candle and stuck it in the bun.

Shudder's grip loosened a little bit more, and Larrikin used this opportunity to wriggle out of his headlock. He sat beside Shudder and held the bun to his face, smiling like an idiot again.

The candle suddenly flickered to life and Shudder cracked a smile. It was small, but it was the first they'd ever seen him pull on a mission.

"Happy birthday, Shudder,"

Shudder smiled at Larrikin, almost as idiotically as the man with the candle-bun. "You are an idiot."

"A very kind idiot,"

"Indeed,"

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><p><strong>Did that sound vaguely Shuddikin to you? Apologies if it did… I think. *Shivers*<strong>

**(Shuddikin or Larridder?)**


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